Friday, 5 February 2010

Doppelgänger

A doppelgänger is a double of another person. Further, it is also referred to as the sensation of seeing yourself in a position where it is impossible that it could have been a reflection.

That is the inspiration for this:

The overwhelmingly malign presence haunted Blake Pictin, there was no explanation for its presence, it hung about him almost festering but without tangible existence. He was momentarily certain that the presence was in fact himself. He knew that it bore all of his characteristics, he knew that the presence was an intangible representation of himself. He felt his flaccid arms at his side wrap themselves around his upper torso, placing a huge amount of pressure on his thorax, his breathing became heavy and restricted and the power required to overcome the intensity of the pressure was immense. His head became weary and intoxicated from the lack of oxygen but as he leaned backwards to balance himself he felt the distinct feeling of abandonment, his chest was released and he inhaled rapidly. Now aware, with certainty, of the individual behind him, he knew it to be of similar build, he could vaguely make out the strong defined jaw line and the steep harsh nose of his profile. Yet he was unable to move, it was as if he knew everything about the individual behind him and that it had always been there, he knew he did not need to turn around yet he knew at the same moment that he would not be able to even if he had wanted. He was again affirmed by its presence, he knew it down to the most intimate detail but somehow now its face eluded him, the vision of its face was now collapsing into a dark void, the only thing of which Blake was certain was the profile, beyond that it was a stranger, a complete unknown. Intoxicated by this merging of reassurance and vulnerability Blake was now certain that it was a gentleman standing behind him. He was certain that if were to turn his head there was a possibility that he would see the face and the familiarity that it overwhelmingly exerted, but he knew that time was escaping him, he knew this person could leave him at any second and he felt that second approaching.

Intoxicated by this sense of inevitability Blake fell, he fell with complete reassurance that in only a moment he would be within the company of a great friend and companion. He fell backwards, the entire world moving forward behind his eyes, his arms were still by his side, he made no attempt to break his own fall and at the same time knew nothing would stop him other than the arid ground to which he was fast approaching. He caught a glimpse of the sun which burned into his retinas blinding all recognition he had for this old friend, his mind was now boiling with a flurry of intense colours all overlapping one another but at the same time all individually and distinctively visible. His eyes were screaming out in pain as the image of this great friend was wiped by the arches, sprays and polygons of colours. His head hit the sandy plain and through the dusty mist which surrounded his lifeless body his eyes rolled back into his head. Blake saw, entangled and encompassed by the hallucinations of his sun-burned gaze, the image which he had known all along. The instant familiarity was not a shock, nor was it an expectation, it was neither the reassuring friend nor the menacing stranger. In that momentary glimpse Blake knew for certain that he had seen his own image, the omnipotent and ever present image of himself since birth, an image of himself which he had never seen before and knew not to exist but ultimately understood to be himself. He knew not to look at himself any longer. He was terrorized by the fact that he had stepped beyond the realms of his own understanding, this expansion of his mind had turned the vast open sands upon which he lay into a minuscule part of his body. His eyes fluttered as the hot midday sun burned into his retinas, offering him its final and most dramatic display of light which softly faded into a grey mist far colder than his burning face.


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2 comments:

  1. I just realized that Blake Pitcin sounds like a pirates name...

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  2. 幸福是人人都要,又怎麼可能都歸你所有?要知道這世界幸福本來就不多........................................

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