Friday, 26 June 2009

Lost in space

It's 2009 and all in all the future has turned out to be pretty disappointing (given that we live in "the future" as it was perceived many years ago). The best we currently have is blue-ray, not holograms as promised, I for one am still using a VCR. Even video conferencing is rarely ever used by anyone with more than half a brain because it is completely shit. Even the nuclear war hasn't materialized as promised in countless 1980's dystopian films. And, most importantly, where the fuck are the robots? I want one of those father-son moments with a machine that i was promised by James Cameron.

Now it's time to take a look at the reality vs. wishful thinking.

Time travel, specifically flying DeLoreans as seen in Back to the Future parts one and two. We don't even have De Loreans anymore and the closest thing we have to time travel is system restore after you've fucked everything up on yr computer.

Robots/terminators/simulacrum/replicants as popularised by the genius imaginations of Philip K Dick and James Cameron. Amazing idea but what is the reality of this vision? Well, there is a fat little talking robot called Asimo in Disneyland in America that can walk and run just like a real boy! AND, this is quite amazing, he can recognise and learn new objects just like a terminator. Nothing like a terminator really, but we only know about the T-800 and the T-1000 and that ho in the third film, nothing from the Sarah Connor Chronicles counts because it's a terrible programme, so there may have been a very early terminator that was just like Asimo.

The huge dystopian blocks that tower over the ghetto underworld. This is sort of relevant in a round about way, we do have tower blocks, but they aren't very high and the ones that are REALLY high are office blocks, and whilst they are surrounded by other tall buildings it's not really the same is it... If the tallest buildings in the world were all next to each other in a small circle then we might be on the right track, but as it stands they are thousands of miles apart. So, don't expect any Blade Runner super structures any time soon.

Thermonuclear war - Twice in 1945 a small island had the shit nuked out of it, then other small islands and deserts also had the shit nuked out of them until the practice was banned in 1963 via the limited test ban treaty, but some people carried on testing until 1980, then everyone carried on carrying out nuclear tests underground until 1996 when the comprehensive test ban treaty was brought in, and even then some people have still carried on testing! (North Korea 2009). So nuclear war could be closer than we think, then everything will probably be like escape from New York with added fallout.

There were loads of other things promised to us by the Gods of science fiction but we only ever got as far as the moon, how fucking shitty is that? I must say I'm pretty disappointed because what we have instead of the robots, time travel, supersonic journeys through space, flying advertisements and space meals is mundane banality along the lines of GTA IV, wide screen televisions, hybrid cars and 3G mobile phones. It's too tame, nothing has liberated like I was promised as a kid, none of the action has materialised. Science Fiction lied to me. Imagine living in the 1950s when it was actually plausible that this stuff could happen, imagine the first time you ever saw a television set, when you saw a rocket take off and man step foot on the moon, imagine the freedom that a washing machine and microwave bought to 1950s women. Now all we have is technology that allows us to work harder from home and in our free time. It's total banality that borders more on the world of 1984 than that of the Fifth Element.

"Wow! Now I can watch failblog AND check my emails on the go!"


Saturday, 20 June 2009

Easily the worst entry so far

There was a point when this was the case:

"I think i may ahve realized today that i have a drink problem, this is the first time its ever occured to me that something i enjoy so regularly is possibly the cause of a lot of my problems. To be quite honest my drinking never beem an issue to me, its always been questionable the amount i drink but never once actually worried me. Recently i have developed a paranoia about my liver because of th amount i drink and today i realized the exrent. After half a bottle of gin and about six whiskeys id expexr to feel a bit out of itt, but no such luck, im a bit groggy but my mind is fully alert and cinical, none of this entertains me or tickles my party spirit. for once im clear that the drink is not working at all. Not at all. Its a bizzarre sensation. The knowledge that yr wasted, technically, but not actually drunk and it has me on the ropes. Have i caught up with myself? Im actually afraid to meet the wall that is gonna consign my freedom as i know it to a dustbin. And unfortunately there is no happy ending, i dont actually know what ive done to me. Ive probably wrecked it so far that its too late, but i dont honestly know. I shd stop but i cant, i dont know how, i realistically have a huge problem that i dont think i can control. And i know its a pathetic request but i think i need help, not the kind of help that is gonna lock me away for years on end or mean that i can never touch a drink again, because in that case id merely be avoiding a problem. I want to be fixed so im back to a basic level of normality, the kind where i can still get drunk but enjoy it as an event rather than a necessity. im purely sick of the confusion this brings, that lack of concentration and search for the right word that has no conclusion and leads me to a patheic alternative. The feeling my insides feel everyday, the loss of gravity within a swimming sea of diet soft drinks that leave me feeling baron and empty the next day, i quite literally feel rotten inside as if some product of the consumption still resides within me but physically has no belonging. But again i cant change, a reduction is a possibility but will it make any difference, because i have to drink so much that the damage is still dangerous, my life has become a revolution around the night. I cant remeber if i can enjoy a drink, i guess i can but i honestly dont see the point if it isnt some partt of a drunken plan, i love the drunken plan, at least its a purpose. So i guess thats that, at least ive had enough to knock me out, which is anothr purpose to drink when its been this long, like i said, purpose...."

I feel just like a real boy again...

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

I booked a band...

So, I have been very busy this week with an array of projects; there has been the usual DJing, my attempt to control as much of the promotion of London clubs as is humanly possible with the best team anyone could ever hope for and the thing closest to my heart, booking bands.

So that in mind, I have my very good friends and AV spectaculars Young Athletes League playing White Heat on Tuesday. Exciting times!

Links below

This is Monaco Sunglasses by Young Athletes League

This is their blog

This is White Heat


Monday, 15 June 2009

Tara Starlet

A few months ago I interviewed Tara Starlet, the article was recently published in SMITHS magazine. Click on the picture of the text to read the article.


Sunday, 14 June 2009

so fresh and so clean

2manyDJs have done something very new and VERY fresh, it's fairly easy to explain, but it's not that easy to express. Basically it runs something like this:

2 many DJs live
artwork for the playing track
artwork playing in time to the music
plus artwork for the cue-ed up track.

So, what it is like is a bit like VJing, but more like YOUR I-tunes, but smarter. Basically, think of the two of them djing, but as soon as they cue the next track you see visuals for it on a HUGE screen, mixing in and out of the visuals for the track that is playing right now (hypothetically), and it's all in time to the music. A HUGE example would be an image of Beth Ditto singing along to 'Standing in the Way of Control' in gif.

In real life it's ingenious. Why hasn't anyone thought of it sooner?

it's a bit like this... but about a million times better


Friday, 12 June 2009

short and sweet

So glass candy are the best band in the world. When she/they bring out an aerobic video it will be a little bit like soft core porn... It actually will.

I don't know how to go about uploading a video or a track so I guess i'll never make it to hype machine. but here is a link


Tuesday, 9 June 2009

For the benefit of the one in China or Philli or wherever you are...

Crisis avast!

Well, what a few days, the list of fallen MP's and cabinet ministers is bordering on endless, but Labour potentially still stand a chance. An election now would be disastrous, obviously, due to the damage inflicted by the expenses scandal, but this will blow over within the next month as the public become tired of the repetition and revelations dry up. After this Labour can regroup and at least fight out the general election properly in May. However, if the party continues to implode and publicly squabble they will fare no better than the Conservatives did in the mid-nineties. A divided party can never prosper.

So, in my opinion, this is what will happen. Labour will get it together to an extent and fight the general election out properly, however the Conservative lead will be a hard nut to crack, the only hope is that their now ingrained mentality as an opposition party will mean that they will continue to fail to create polices and fight the election as an opposition party rubbishing the government. This is evident in their approach to European elections, choosing to tell the public to pre-empt a general election with their votes. Wrong move, especially when yr position on Europe is that we need regain sovereignty, therefore logic dictates that if the EU is sovereign over UK law (which it is) then surely you should be fighting the election on policies rather than to pre-empt an election in the subsidiary state. However, this continued attitude will probably still win them the election in May but not give them the landslide victory they would most probably obtain at this moment in time. So, Labour lose the election, but they will not slip to third place, whilst the Lib dems are making some gains in the local council elections against labour this is more likely down to the annoyance of voters with the two main parties over the expenses scandal, which will seem a million years away in May, but perhaps gains in local politics will give the lib dems a boost in credibility and dispel their image as the incumbent party.

Labour will then have at least four years to regroup the party, if they are clever they will quickly unite (probably under Johnson) and hopefully get back to their core voters. This means grass roots Labour supporters in places like Scotland, who they have been systematically losing to the SNP. However, if they wish to win the election they will still need to appease the centre-right, whether or not Johnson can do this is debatable, business leaders may be wary of him as a former Trade Union leader, although he has shown his stripes as a progressive, leaving behind his Marxist inspired roots and supporting the abolition of clause IV in favour of Blair's modern reappraisal, clause four. So what does Labour really have to do to win an election in 2014, in my opinion they need to reboot the party the same way Blair did in 1994, bare in mind 2014 will represent twenty full years since that big progression and the party has really done nothing as radical since, house of lords reform has all but ground to a halt, devolution has been a success albeit a shot in the foot on Labour's part as it appears to have given a bigger political base to parties like the SNP and Plyyd Cymru, oops.

So, I'm bored of writing this now so I'm gonna have to wrap it up, I've sort of made my point but got lost a bit along the way. If the Labour front bench don't stick together and stop ripping shards out of each other in public they are completely doomed and will end up like the Conservatives, which is to destined to spend the next fourteen years in opposition with no policies. Together they stand and they divide as they fall.

Happier times, when the gash was flowing:


Tuesday, 2 June 2009

My trip to therapy

I was instructed by my university to seek counselling recently after a lie on my part got out of hand and some home truths came to light. I don't know if the lie had some basis of truth in it or if it was a meagre cry for help or if, and most likely, it was just me squirming my way out of trouble. People will debate but I know the latter to be the truth.

There are a few legitimate reasons why I could and most probably should seek counselling, but these are private matters and for the most part you will come to learn of them in time. However I went with the suggestion and attended a "45 minute analysis" to determine what, if any help I was gravely in need of. At this point I was instructed to relax by an extremely softly spoken counsellor, who would have been asleep had she been any more chilled out, and told not to pay any attention to the notes she would be writing during our conversation. GREAT. It was impossible NOT to pay attention to the ENDLESS notes she was writing because she didn't stop writing them, she even appeared to note down the most insignificant crap I was spewing forth. She managed to note down the leg I broke as a SIGNIFICANT EVENT, she was probably going to hold on to that one for a later extraction of memories of the abuse I never suffered. I managed to leave out a lot of very private facts about my life which, I would imagine, probably resulted in her massive fuck up of a diagnosis regarding my mental health.

And this is the most important part of the story.

I have father issues. I guessed this was going to be her diagnosis when she spent about half out our 45 minute session, which is a whole twenty-two minutes and thirty seconds, asking me questions along the lines of, "was DAD not there when you were younger?", "was DAD coming and going a lot?", "did DAD miss out on sharing all of those special moments that boys and their father's share in those golden oldies?". Well shit, I guess so... DAD really did a number on me didn't he lady... Did he hell. A lot of people grow up WITHOUT dad's. I didn't. In fact, I think I only know two people who really grew up with their dad's full presence, it's a fallacy. And whilst I assured her that this really did not bother me she assured me that it really did.

Now, there is a macabre twist to this tale, because this happened about two months ago and after the genius doctor's diagnosis I was booked in for regular counselling to deal with my issues, which I cancelled the very next day because I fully believe that I know best. I sort of began to think on what she had said and how wrong she had been. I then spent a lot of time thinking about good old dad and reminiscing of the good old days and happy times that we spent together, even though they have been separated by gaps of many years. I cant really fault my childhood in that respect, it was fun as fuck. And then last week he died. Boom. Shocked the shit out of me. I hadn't seen him in years but I spoke to him all of the time. it's an odd thing grief because I don't really know how I feel, I know I'm upset but I don't know if I can show it, I know I can hide it well. But this is besides the point because the point I want to make is that in my grieving this dumb psychologist keeps popping into my head attempting to besmirch the memories of my dad and I hate her for that, but if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have spent the last 2 months remembering how happy we were together, which in a way has pre-empted all the reminiscing I should be doing now.

I don't really believe in anything at all, but it's weird how things almost appear to happen for a reason.

Heaven and hell colliding: