110 LIFE

110 was a type of film made popular in the 1970s and 80s with the rise of pocket cameras, 110 is a subminiature cartridge with the images 13x17mm in size. This small size means that when images are enlarged they develop a "grain" effect, as you can see below. Furthermore, the difficulty in obtaining 110 film means that you are often left with no choice but to use out of date film which causes some of the discolouring.

The mass production, lack of technical control and use of cheap materials, such as plastic lenses also leads to blur, light leaks and film jamming. Which is all good because you never know what you're going to get. In my case I developed 144 pictures, 75 frames were blank but I was really happy with what I got.

Camera's used:

Minolta zoom 110 SLR

Agfa agfamatic 1000

Halina 110 flashmatic

These are some examples of frame jams, accidental double exposures, light leaks, blurs and film decay...

110 LIFE

Apathy in the UK

Some things I've heard lately have got me thinking, the ridiculous things people say compared to their actions. What really got me thinking is the elections in the middle east and the huge civil unrest that goes with them, we have people that have waited their entire lives for the opportunity to vote and are prepared to die for that right, some, on the other hand, are prepared to kill for that right. So what do we give in return for our right to vote? Some grumbling about having to get on the electoral register then a handful of people go the whole hog and bother to vote.

Iraqis queing to vote, guarded by armed police

Many people seem to believe that joining facebook groups is in some way as effective as casting an actual physical vote, take for example the huge number of people who joined the group "1,000,000 United Against the BNP". I personally know at least eight people who joined that group and did not go on to vote in the local and European elections, of those eight people I think that three of them constantly reposted the group on their wall and constantly invitied friends to join. Excuses ranged from "I went to the wrong polling station" "I didnt register" and "I forgot"... then the BNP got two seats and every last one of them complained, unfortunately they were democratically elected in free and fair elections and are now entitled to all of the media attention (re: question time debate) and participation in mainstream debate as the other parties.

In 2005 (the last general election in case you cant remember) the turnout was 61% and that was pushed up by the huge backlash against the Iraq war, the 2001 election saw a 59% turnout. However, this is comparatively low for the UK when every election until and including 1997 saw a turnout above 70%, most surpassed 75%. A number of reasons could be blamed for a decline in voter turnout, one possibility is that people are satisfied with their lives and believe that govenrment is functioning and will continue to function correctly regarless of the political powers. However, a more likely reason is the realignment of the main parties has left voters alienated from their traditional political bases believing that "their party" does not represent their interests anymore and that voting has no real effect since the party policy is very similar on both sides. It is a similar story in the United states where turnout between 1972 and 2004 was consistently in the low-mid 50s percentage-wise.

Many people see politics as ineffectual due to the way it is portrayed in the media, all that ever seems to happen is that the two main parties disagree with eachother, the opposition suggests that they would do things differently, criticising the status quo but never suggesting any real alternative. This is usually passed off with the usual rhetoric during party conference time when everyone waits till the last minute then hashes together proposals and manifestos, "now is the time for change", "Britain deserves better" or "I wouldn't let them run a bath" all the usual sloganeering... Worst of all is when two parties come up with the same big idea all hell breaks loose, everyone tries to claim they came up with it first and that is absolute proof that the other party has no policies. It's constant fistycuffs at dawn and when parties aren't bickering with eachother they are bickering with themselves making the whole process of government even more ineffectual, we saw it in the 80s with labour and we saw it in the 2000s with the Conservatives, and we have spent the last year watching Labour almost implode because of even more infighting.

In short, people dont want to vote because they believe it makes no difference, but it does, regardless of how petty and ineffectual parliament may appear it is the decision centre of the UK, the whole process of government affects not just the UK but world interests and we have a duty to partake in that, not just by voting but making greater demands upon our elected representatives. Remember an MP is there to serve all of his/her constituents not just the ones voting for them, and that is where our political power lies.

Unless you are unlucky enough to have a minister or shadow minister for an MP, in which case you are fucked...

Apathy in the UK

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You really might need a strong stomach for this...

#

Here lies a public health warning for those not able to think or see for themselves.

Remember this one from the science text books? It took a lot of searching...

I bore witness to pure idiocy today, it existed on a train and was really rather indicative of larger society, it appeared to suggest that syphilis does not exist any more, that it was and STILL is a rather romantic disease reserved for the upper middle classes, something that a poet or literary genius may carry and pass on unashamedly. Realistically, that is not what said fool was thinking but he did have a genuine belief in his voice that syphilis does not exist any more.

Unfortunately for the dimwitted fool on the London to Dartford service the brain muncher is here to stay... That means that the UK has the second highest rate of syphilis in Europe, second only to Germany, and cases are up by, like, "millions of percent". What I as a factual individual mean is that a disease that was nearly wiped out in the 20th century is back again in an abundance in the 21st. Allegedly cases in the last ten years have jumped some 1,200%.

But, shit yourself not lest you be gay or an old lady because the Guardian reports that unprecedented rise has been "fuelled by unprotected gay sex and an outbreak among mature women who are suspected of "swinging". Uh Oh!

So, for ye poet laureate , thou shalt be confined to the fourth poster with an ailment not too dissimilar to that of madness as some unknown entity feasts on your brain before you become very vaguely aware for a matter of seconds and are then plunged into the depths of darkness.

No moral lesson, just some plain, old-fashioned reminder...

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The Bureaucratic Monster (pt.1)

Compact Oxford English Dictionary definition:

noun (pl. bureaucracies) 1. A system of government in which most decisions are taken by state officials rather than by elected representatives. 2. Excessively complicated administrative procedure.

The above picture was taken a few months ago and I believed this aptly summed up the whole existence of bureaucracy in modern Britain. The fact that a parking camera can be removed for being illegally parked by its own department is, by its very definition, ridiculous. The cost of removal will be paid by the city of Westminster which has in turn paid the cost of operating the vehicle in the first place with the purpose of the vehicle to detect illegally parked cars... So the question is, who detected this illegally parked vehicle if it did not detect itself?

Modernity is plagued by such idiocy almost everywhere you look and this has entirely shaped the meaning and our understanding of 'bureaucracy', the actual meaning of bureaucracy is the implementation of laws and procedures, however a realistic view of bureaucracy is more than likely to conjure memories of endless and somewhat pointless paperwork and conflicting information from different but equally official sources.

Franz Kafka explored the madness and endlessness of bureaucracy in 'The Trial' the tale of a man standing accused of a crime of which he is unaware and trapped in an endless quest for justice for which he has no reason other than that he is a man accused. Every turn is fraught with questioning along no real subject and suggestion that his predicament is definite. Similar to the American legal system he is advised to attempt a plea bargain where his guilt will guarantee him safety at the cost of his innocence. It is suggested that over 90% of US convictions are based on this principle as the haste of admitted guilt can offset the potential of any prison sentence, even if the accused is, in fact, innocent. These numbers could suggest a distrust of the legal system or a massively high level of crime, it is more than likely that defendants can not afford legal aid ($300 per hour) and so opt for the safer option of admitting their guilt even if innocent. It is also worth noting that this percentage has not really changed since 1925.

Figures:
2004 - 95.5% of the 51,666 convictions nationwide were reached through guilty pleas
2007 - 98% of convictions in New York are reached through guilty pleas
2007 - 94.4% of convictions in Pittsburgh are reached through guilty pleas
The numbers continue in a similar vain across the United states...

Q. What is the biggest example of bureaucracy in the modern world?
A. Nuclear weapons.

I don't know if this counts as being bureaucratic but in my mind this falls into the "excessively complicated administrative procedure" definition. Where to begin? Well, the notion of the use of nuclear arms today is preposterous, the launch of one nuclear weapon is akin to Dr Strangelove's 'Doomsday Device'. Use will be met with retaliation, retaliation will be met with retribution and retribution will be met with annihilation. That means that use is out of the question and their entire scientific purpose defunct.

What's the answer?
Well, YOU cant get rid of YOUR nuclear weapons because that leaves YOU in a position of political and military weakness, but by having nuclear weapons you immediately generate the need for others to have them too. Protection-provocation syndrome. Even if everyone were to theoretically get rid of them the knowledge of the technology would always exist so they could always be rebuilt. Total disarmament also assumes that everyone believed each other and didn't secretly keep some in the thought, "if I can secretly hold on to mine, that means that they can secretly hold on to theirs so I have to hold on to mine because they WILL be doing the same". And let's not forget what happened to poor old Saddam, he didn't even have any nukes yet still no-one believed him! So it's a massive catch-22 whereby we are now trapped in an endless self perpetuating cycle of distrust and paranoia. This is bureaucratic because it's the bureaucracy of international relations, and therefore the highest bureaucracy of all.

Part two will look at actual bureaucracy in modern Britain.

The Bureaucratic Monster (pt.1)

My Dreamscape

In the last two weeks I've dreamed about nuclear war three times. I have seen full blown nuclear exposions from the end of the earth's atmosphere and mushroom clouds appear from my window.

Dream #1

As I look at the column of energy consume everything in its path like an immobile tornado my own cat is driven to complete insanity as the mushroom blossoms, I try to take him away from the horror that awaits but he scratches my face to pieces in the panic and fear that only a fragile creature like a cat can feel. Unusually, the only thing missing from my imagination was the intense white light that follows a nuclear explosion, the one that all voluntary witnesses are advised to shield their eyes from lest they destroy their retinas.

In this dream I see huge collumns of smoke one after the other, as many as seven consumed the entirity of my vision, towering into the sky dwarfing the 'skyskrapers' they engulfed. Each was entirely and perfectly locked into its own position, making no outward movements but shaking violently where it stood, seemingly sucking life from the ground to the heavens. The unison they showed was incredible, each was a precise replica of the last in its previous seconds and all towered thousands of metres into the sky joined by a grey cloud that was even higher than it ever seemed possible for the earth to reach. I wept in fear at their presence.

Dream #2

In another dream I witnessed the destruction of the earth from its own atmosphere, I saw mushrooms consume continents falling from rings that resembled those of cartoon planets. I saw billions die in this dream, I may well have been the only living survivor, a lucky anomaly who happened to miss a date with death. Again, all white light was absent and I was not blinded, I looked into the eye of the explosion and felt the fear and pain of every innocent and unassuming individual. I woke up before I could see the results, the last thing I remember thinking was how no-one could ever deserve this amount of suffering and weeping into a bowl at the loss of humanity whilst praying that this was just a dream.

Dream #3

In my final dream I was the most disturbed. I was aware of some kind of destruction, but I did not see it first hand like I had in the other dreams, although I knew it was enormous. People were shredded limb from limb, apparently torn to pieces. Faces were almost always missing. At times internal body organs were exposed in the living and breathing, stomachs protruded like dull red footballs beneath yellowing rib cages. I remember seeing animals that were once pets eating the feet and shoes of their human friends, people walked on all fours but behaved in their usual manner as if their revolting presence was not offensive. I saw a dog shit into a corner only to produce a hive of cockroaches that crawled over its body, searching its surface for the similarity they found inside the decaying cask that they had immediately left. I saw men eating their own hair because it was the only form of disposable and affordable nourishment. Water was exceptionally non existent and as far as I could see, liquid was a laughable luxury, life crumbled to the touch.

This is what I see, the images have no basis in reality, the only thing they can be is a product of what I have seen on TV...

My Dreamscape

The Great British Stag

Where do you begin when it comes to dissembling this fine human institution? Stag and hen parties are a staple for the marriage type, the final few hours of acting like an arse because you will apparently never be able to again once wed. Aren't they fantastic? A true testament to the human condition, all of the loudest and dimwitted of yr mates attempting to give you one last hurrah before the tedium of wedded bliss destroys yr soul. I don't understand why there is a need to dress up like a twat because yr getting married, maybe I don't understand the desire to get shitfaced in the next town over when there is an array of perfectly suitable drinking holes right where you already are, and maybe just maybe I don'tnt get the fucking point when you do the same thing every Friday night and in all fairness you are lucky to have found someone even worth marrying after you probably picked the drunk mess up in something like Oceana or the local Yates.

But more importantly, aside from the fact that all people on stag and hens look like twats there is another thing that really bothers me. The scale of ambition is pathetic. If someone I knew, least of all my BEST friends, thought throwing a big send off for me involved any of the following, I think I would rather be friendless:

Devil horns
Anything that sparkles (not including fireworks)
Custom print t-shirts
Wondering around old street
A kebab for the train home
Being home in bed by 2
Possibly going to a strip bar

So, yr friends are trying to give you a send off, why the fuck then are you wondering around some crappy part of London, with t-shirts two sizes too big that look like they have been printed in times new Roman size 12 font, yr still wearing yr work clothes and really the best they can muster is the possibility of a flesh show (because yr getting married, you've never seen a pair of tits before so now is the time to get acquainted with the female form). Where is the action? It all looks and sounds like its come out of a box, mass produced "memorability". Jesus Christ! I was on the train last night, yes that's right, the train so you are correct that would make the time EARLIER than 1am, and I see a stag party going home, the stag party had ended at about 12am, that would be a night to remember, because no night I can remember has ended before 3am for a long time. To me a night to remember needs to go on til at least dawn, that's just standard, it also needs to involve a lot more than a MacDonalds and/or a kebab and attempting to cream myself over toplesswoment at the same time as all my friends.

I want to set off fireworks from the back of cabs, I want bottles and bottles of booze and bags and bags of powders, I want the sleaziest clubs the city has to offer and when they close I want the worst of the afterparties and the very best of the bugging out corners, if we are going to strip clubs then I want the worst of the worst, I want to go to cheapest and dirtiest of the lot, then I want to go to kings cross and buy all my friends two for a tenner hookers and bring them in on the party, when I get hungry I dont want a kebab or a burger I want a barbeque in one of the royal parks and when it gets light i want to steal a car and drive to a house in the suburbs and use the pool to wash the filth that i have been rolling around in all night whilst the family sleeps in doors, then i will want to get married and if a hooker has somehow died along the way, not even that will matter.

The Great British Stag

Junkie playground

It's quite amazing how shit scared I get around kings cross, the ingrained threat of being turned into a sex toy is too high. Basically for those that don't know, kings cross is the centre of drug and people traficing in London. And by people I mean you and me as well as the slaves. Look at any missing poster and notice that anyonne lost in London was last seen in kings cross. It's a junkies playground. So we have me, lost somewhere between kings cross and farringdon, its all just as bad. So I'm fuck worried, I may hav beem here a million times before but since im explaining how bad it is im a lot more worried. And im using my phone to write this nonsense. Never a good idea. So what could happen? I could get abducted into the night, that's the worst possible outome, by a long shot, the other is getting my head kicked in and having my jaw broken again. Becoming a sex save is bascally the worst thing that could happen, I dont like people I don't know, I don't like people I don't know touching me, I dont like things beeing put in me. By my own rules this fucks me bad. Being punched in the face wont be fun, but id rather that than being arse raped by a 6.5ft nigerian in denial about his sexuality and thus treating me like a rag doll because he hates the latent homosexuality unfolding before his very eyes.

We are in weird territory now, not only the last comment but I'm on the bus now. The buses to kings cross are always full of crackheads, great, it smells like piss and damp dish rags because thats the smell of crack, if you don't believe me get on a 25 at 1am, thats the smell. So fuck, im trying to get out of kings cross but in order to get out I have to venture deeper into it's heart, Kings Cross station. Would you like to know why there are always so many junkies whores and psychos around major train stations in London, well FYI there are a number of reasons. Reason number one, when you are chucked out of home by yr parents for whatever reasons you leave to the biggest, nastiest place in the country, where there are endless possibilities and total anonymity for fuck ups to get by. Secondly, the level of tourism is blistering so the prospects for prostitutes and beggars are pretty decent. Finally, and most darkly, there is an unaknowledged fact that it is possible for a child who has run away from home to be in the hands of scumbags, pimps, junkies and pikeys within a day of landing in London, thus being turned into most of the above before the week's end.

But tonight it's an exodus, junkies, whores, thieves and psychos abound the bus stops apparently trying to board anything moving. Why do thy want to leave? This is where it's at for them... This is the pinnacle of their sad and lonely lives, they will never get more involved in their own personal hell than they are now...

Get the fuck back, there is nothing for you past calidonian road....

Junkie playground